About Me, Gen
I write to untangle life’s complexities, and form human connections — one story at a time.
Hi there, and thanks for stopping by!
I’ve only been on Medium for a little over 2 months, and in just a few short weeks, the community has already become very near and dear to my heart. I initially joined Medium just to help bolster my bank account, but I’m realizing that my soul is reaping the benefits much more than my bank account is.
Medium has become a haven that allows me to bare my soul, form new human connections, build bridges, and create life-affirming bonds.
You can read more about what my journey with Medium has been like here:
And because it’s already become so much more than just a side hustle, I thought it would be a good idea to introduce myself a little bit more.
If this is your first time reading something of mine, this piece can hopefully give you some idea of who I am, why I write and what I write so it’ll be easier and quicker for you to decide if I’d be someone you might be interested in forming a new connection with.
No hard feelings if you don’t, I promise.
And if you’ve already been following my work, I’m delighted to give you a broader idea of my lived experiences that have and will continue to shape my writing.
I actually started writing this piece a couple of days ago. I honestly thought this would be easy, and that it would practically write itself.
How wrong I was.
How exactly do I begin to sum up the defining parts of me in just one article?
With the sum total of hundreds and thousands of life stories (big or small) I can share, which few are monumental enough to count as “defining moments of my life” that deserve to make their way to my bio?
And how do I even begin to weed out the fluff from the substance?
I had no answers to any of these questions.
So after a few days of mulling things over, I decided I would just share five things about me that have shaped me (and continues to shape me) into who I am today, and which I believe will also underpin, inspire and trigger most of what I write / will write.
Here goes nothing.
One. A Misfit Always In Search of Somewhere to Belong.
I don’t have very vivid recollections of my childhood, but I do have many vivid memories of feeling like I never quite fit in anywhere.
I attended an exclusive girls’ school throughout elementary and high school, a school primarily attended by other second and third generation Chinese-Filipino girls like me. But despite the similarity in our backgrounds, I never quite felt like I really belonged, especially not in the circles of the “popular girls”. I knew it… and sadly, they knew it too.
So in the true spirit of female bullying, I had to endure many years being the object of gossip, ridicule and social humiliation.
Inevitably, when the “cool kids” say you’re uncool, everyone else just backs off and leaves you alone, perpetuating the cycle of isolation.
I’ve long since stopped feeling bad about this — kids will be kids, and I understood later on that they probably just didn’t get me. But I realize that many decisions I’ve made as an adult were unconsciously rooted in that constant search for a place or community where I could belong.
This was why I opted to work in Advertising, the one industry where anyone and everyone is welcome, where one’s distinctiveness and uniqueness is not only accepted, but celebrated.
I have found a home for many years in the industry, but deep in my subconscious, I know that tiny diminutive girl begging to be heard, understood, and accepted won’t ever really go away.
Two. A Middle Child and Only Daughter in a Chinese Family.
There’s a lot to unpack with this one.
Some of my previous writings explored the dynamics of being raised as a Chinese daughter, specifically, how my worth as a child was only ever as good as how well-trained I was to become a future wife, mother, and homemaker.
I’ve also previously written about how the oddity of my childhood led me to discover the magic of getting lost in pages upon pages of books and the worlds they created in my mind, and how later on, this same love for books led me to discover the cathartic joy of writing.
Besides being a Chinese daughter, I am also a middle child.
And as stereotype would have it:
“Middle children are probably not praised like their older sibling or coddled like their younger one, which may make them feel excluded or neglected.”
And it is true.
My birth order, coupled with my reduced status as just a daughter, created the perfect storm for a childhood without praise or acknowledgement for anything I’d ever achieved. My few published works in our school paper never got read, my participation in the spelling bee never got remarked upon (though I didn’t win, so I suppose that does merit nonchalance), and the fact I actually got accepted in the top university in the Philippines (which only accepts the cream of the academic crop) was mostly ignored.
But while all that sounds bleak, I think being ignored all those years fueled my constant and burning drive to excel as an adult.
Three. A Wife in a Codependent Marriage.
In many of my writings, I’ve casually referenced my husband — what he said, or what he did (or didn’t do), or how he made me feel — but I’ve never really focused on talking about him.
He, and our love story deserves its own writings someday.
But for now, suffice to say that since we found each other twenty something years ago, we’ve been inseparable since. We moved in together less than one year after we officially became a couple, and never lived apart ever again. In most of my work trips abroad, he’s always tagged along. The few nights we’ve been forced to spend apart, proper sleep would elude us. And while a few marriages saw their end during the enforced Covid-19 lockdowns, our marriage thrived.
Our relationship is by no means perfect. We’ve had our share of terrible fights. He carries as much baggage as I do, and try as we might — it’s simply impossible to leave our respective baggages behind. It takes a whole lot of work, infinite patience, and a lot of trial and error.
In short, we’re not the stuff fairy tales are made of, and “happily ever after” isn’t real.
But at the end of each day, when I’m enfolded in his arms, and he’s giving me the tightest hug, and my face is snuggly buried in his chest — I’m home.
Four. A Girl Boss, a Business Explorer, and a Breadwinner.
Well, okay. I’m not currently a boss. I’m still working my way back to that.
I’m a Digital Marketing professional by day, an aspiring writer and “nanopreneur” by night.
As a Digital Marketer, I’m tasked to understand the complexities and nuances of the digital space and all the emerging technologies & platforms that make their way to people’s homes and devices.
While I generally don’t derive as much joy writing about my craft, on occasion, I do write about work and business — stuff that triggers me or intrigues me.
Lately, I wrote about my sentiments on how AI and automation is dehumanizing the hiring process.
I’ll probably have a couple more of these over time. I am infinitely curious about how much automation and Artificial Intelligence will really change the way we work, live and play. I also have plenty of thoughts about the perils of social media, the complex and sometimes sketchy world of crypto and blockchain, and digital transformation in general.
My work on the digital space has also opened my eyes to the vast, exciting, and sometimes scary world of virtual money-making opportunities. My explorations on this field have led me down many paths, some of them good, some of them terribly horrific.
Lately, I’ve been on a mission to help spread some knowledge on earning money online without being scammed.
Fundamental to everything I do to work and earn is the simple fact that I’m a breadwinner twice over. This means I am always, and will always be searching for opportunities to uplift the lives of people I take care of — which is why I have not-so-recently embarked on an experiment to immigrate to Canada (which has not quite turned out the way I hoped). I’ve also written extensively about this.
Five. A Hog for an Eclectic Mix of Music, Movies, TV Shows, Books, Games, and More.
I’m a self-confessed Swiftie, but I’ve got the lyrics of roughly 80% of Les Miserables, Miss Saigon, Phantom of the Opera, Evita, and Wicked etched in my head.
My heart still races when I hear the opening bars of a Beatles song, and I can belt out 90s alternative pop / rock songs by REM, Oasis, U2, the Cranberries, and Stone Temple Pilots.
I can spend hours holed up in Karaoke and sing my heart out to Faith Hill, Kelly Clarkson and Sheryl Crow, and while doing house chores, I’ve got Chvrches, Bruno Mars, and Chainsmokers playing on my bluetooth speakers.
I’d spend money to (and I’ve spent money to) watch Maroon 5, the Killers, and Duran Duran in concert. But I’d be willing to pay an arm and a leg to watch Sarah McLachlan and Cynthia Alexander live.
And sometimes, I listen to Gospel music.
Variety is the spice of life — in music, as in everything else.
Someday, I’ll most likely write about why I think Taylor Swift doesn’t deserve all the shade she gets.
And maybe someday, I’ll also write about our annual Christmas tradition of watching the entire Lord of the Rings and Hobbit trilogies (Director’s Cut versions at that!).
Or maybe I might write about the definitive reading list for anyone seeking to explore the worlds of Agatha Christie in Hercule Poirot or Miss Marple (though I’d still recommend starting out with her hit classic “And Then There Were None”).
Every now and then, it’s not a bad idea to take a break from the serious, and celebrate the mundane.
If you’ve managed to get this far, I thank you very deeply and kindly especially for bearing with my ramblings. But most importantly, I thank you for your curiosity in learning more about me.
If you feel like it, do drop me a note and let me know if anything I’ve written speaks to you or resonates with you so we can connect.
I hope to see you around!